:: COMMANDER TIM ::

…there’s probably like 10 or 15 more people that are willing to watch the should-have-been-aborted Transformers film.

Let me preface this by saying that my all time favorite Transformer is Jazz. Voiced by Scatman Crothers and depicted as a fun loving, but serious warrior who enjoyed Earth culture and embraced the Autobots exile on this new world. I’ve always loved this character. Growing up, I had a Jazz figure that (like a lot of kids Autobot cars) had the roof broken off. Not my fault! It fell off a table, I was powerless to stop it! Anyway, I loved the character more than any other in the entire line-up. Oh sure, I always had the soft spot for Prowl, but Jazz was just the coolest thing going in my opinion. He turned into a Martini Racing Porsche 935 Turbo, and unlike many of the other Autobots of the time, the mold was unique to him. Everything about this figure was just awesome! From the super jacked rear wing, to the low swept aero kit, to the awesome decals that gave him that racey look. Yes indeed, the number 4 Porsche Autobot was just the most awesome toy a kid could ask for.

So why Michael Bay? Why?

It was confirmed recently by TFW2005 that Jazz will no longer be a Martini Racing Porsche 935 Turbo in the upcoming live-action Transformers movie. Now, I’m not shocked by this move. Since the Porsche 935 isn’t manufactured any longer, it would only make sense that they changed vehicles, and I was totally fine with that. Actually, a few years back, Hasbro released the Transformers: Alternators line, and Jazz was re-imagined as a silver Mazda RX-8. Totally hot looking! Sure, the lines didn’t match up, but still, it was a cool car for a cool character. It just seemed to fit. Now, nobody was expecting that the Mazda RX-8 would be THE car Jazz was going to transform into, but we all liked to think it was certainly in the running. Personally, I would’ve liked to see Jazz get a nice modern facelift from the current 911 Turbo. It has the looks, the power, and the legendary status befitting a character like Jazz. It would’ve been beautiful…

So again Michael Bay, why?

Jazz is now a grey Pontiac Solstice.

ugh.

I don’t know what to say. I… I… I think I need to go be sick or something. It’s like, I keep begging Mr. Bay to stop pounding my childhood dreams in the ass, but he just throws me a smile and keeps hammering while I’m forced to watch.

Now don’t get me wrong, the Pontiac Solstice is a perfectly ‘ok’ car for what it is. It’s an American roadster that puts down decent times and won’t destroy your bank account trying to get it in your driveway. But still… it’s a Pontiac. Come on! I’m flabbergasted at this. Seriously.

Anybody needs me, I’ll be at the bar, trying to wash away the thoughts of this nightmare that is the Transformers movie. It’s like watching your best friend fall in with the wrong crowd. First comes the lack of communication because they’re always out with their ‘new friends’, then comes the signs of drug abuse, the hazy eyes, the angry outbursts… and then pretty soon, the person you knew is gone, and in it’s place is this ‘thing’ that kinda looks like your friend, but really isn’t. Michael Bay is leading the Transformers down a very dark path, and I pray somebody steps in for an intervention.

Ugh. Seriously, what’s next? How about a USB powered waffle iron? Wait! What about a USB powered seat cooler? I can’t take this stuff anymore! I’m telling you, we are in the geek end times. Soon, the lakes will run red with Dr. Pepper, the skies will fill with Insecticons, and the XBox 360 will lay down with the PS3! Repent my nerd brothers and sisters! Repent!

read more | digg story

I pulled this off of one of my favorite websites on the planet, Veer. It would seem that OK Go has discovered the formula for the perfect music video. Let’s go down the list of ingredients:

• 4 cups of dorky looking guys
• 3 teaspoons liters of snappy retro fashion
• A pinch of choreography
• 1 whole stick of treadmills
• Blend until fucking awesome

Fantastic stuff. Like Jon over at Veer said

“…anyone could have done it, but they didn’t.”

Click to see the greatest video ever.

Why it’s the new podcast by my good buddy Hawkes from GamerAndy. The first two episodes are out, and so far, I totally dig it. I was on the phone with ol’ Hawkes a few days back and we got talking about doing up some album art. I tossed some ideas around in my head, and the concept behind it emerged;

Podcast Rockstar

So, I sat down and created this. It’s got that perfect edgy feel that’s so popular with the kids these days. The destroyed fonts give an element of danger, and the pop-art style dot on the photo really adds to the grungy feel of the piece. The background schematics were added to drive home the feeling of the demented Mr. Science feel of the show.

I recommend you guys check his show out. I know, I’m pimping here, but hear me out. It’s a totally different feel from the GamerAndy Live! show, and for a one man podcast, Hawkes carries it well. It’s early in the game for it, but so far, two thumbs up from Commander Tim.

[PIMPAGE] Ask A Hawkes

Hmmm… interesting. Ok, I saw this on the Digg RSS this morning, and I was going to blog it before the rush got on, but I was too busy with work related insanity to get to it. So be a tad patient with the site as it’s experiencing the Digg Effect.

AIBQ has a very healthy collection of DC books from the 1960’s and 70’s for you to check out… for FREE! I highly recommend looking these over. Just at a glance I’m seeing some of the greatest superhero stories ever told, presented here in a digital form for all time! Look! They even have an archive of one of my favorite (and highly underrated) comics, Mister Miracle! Oh that wacky Scott Free and his Mother Box technology… always getting himself into trouble on New Genesis…

I’m not a total nerd… I SWEAR!

Anyway, sounds great right? Sign me up you say? Ok, well how’s this…

Mac users need not apply.

Ugh. Total suckfest, I know. All the comics here are in CBR format, which is Comic Book Reader format (witty eh?), and can only be opened with… drumroll please… Comic Book Reader. Which, it would seem is a Windows ONLY EXE. To quote the wise and powerful Stimpy; Joy!

.:EDIT:.

Wow, you dig a little bit and it’s amazing what you can uncover. I took a stroll over to the Mutant Liberation Front forum and found a cool open-source app called Comical. What is Comical you ask? Why it’s a CBR reader for Windows, Mac AND Linux. There, once again open-source awesomeness saves the day. Why, come to think of it, open-source software is kind of like a superhero… somebody should make a comic book out of that!

read more | digg story

Well, it’s finally over. Today, Ryan, Jason and I sat down and recorded what for the forseeable future is the last Widget episode. Were we all sad and weepy about it? Nope. Actually, it felt like a huge weight was lifted off our shoulders. We said it from the very start; once the show was no longer fun, it was over. And, true to our word, it was no longer fun, so we put a bullet in the head.

It was a great ride. I met some really fantastic people that I hope to remain friends with for a very long time. So much has changed since we started recording the show in Zane’s computer room back in July of 2005. It’s pretty amazing really. But, like all good things, it needed to end.

Thank you to everyone that listened, laughed, and enjoyed our little show.

I thought this was pretty cool. I’d love to use the old cliche “somebody has too much time on their hands”, but I’m way to much of a nerd to do that. Plus, I hate it when people say that line. There is no such thing as “too much time”… only people that wait around to die use that phrase. How can you have more time than you know what to do with? I’d love it if I had as much time as I could handle! The things I could do and see… the thought is both a staggering idea and a wishful dream that can never be fufilled! And furthermore…

…ahem…

Anyway, hit the ‘read more’ link to learn how “real” Transformers work.

Hugs not drugs.

read more | digg story

A pretty informative (albeit short) article about Phi, and it’s possible (or bunk) implications in our universe. I’m not fully in agreeance with the author of this article, but at least he understands it, even if he doesn’t subscribe to most of the theories that go along with Phi. If you’re at all curious, I recommend reading this article, and then taking the time to learn more about Phi. After all, The Da Vinci Code is popular right now, and a considerable amount of Da Vinci’s works were influenced by the “divine proportion”. I assure you that you will never look at Vitruvian Man the same again.

It’s a number which has been adopted by all sorts of flakes and crazies, and there are alleged sightings of it in all sorts of strange places that are simply not real. For example, pyramid loons claim that the great pyramids in Egypt have proportions that come from Phi - but they don’t. But apart from that, it is a cool number.

read more | digg story

Ants cruising around in what looks like a giant gel air freshner. Isn’t technology wonderful? I have got to get one of these things. According to the article, the little critters are able to move it as easily as sand, and they gain nutrients from it as well! Who says science isn’t doing wonderful things for insects?

This miraculous gel, derived from a NASA Space experiment, serves as both habitat and nutrition for your ants - allowing you to watch in awe as they turn a brick of aqua-blue gel into a fascinating colony of tunnels. Never before have you been so capable of watching these awesome creatures at work.

Read more below.

read more | digg story

WWDC 2006 just wrapped up, and aside from seeing all the cool new things that Leopard is going to bring (and there’s a lot of things), we also got to see the the last of the PowerPC Macs when Apple announced the amazing new Mac Pro. The sheer power this thing has at it’s disposal has me salivating. We all saw it coming, but still, actually having it here is pretty cool. My initial impressions are very good for this machine. Moving a Firewire 800 plug to the front was a very awesome thing, as is the extra USB port. I was also impressed to see that you can now have dual optical drives in a Powermac once again. One stickler though is the moving of the power supply to the top of the case, so now you have the “rat tail” effect of the cord dangling from the top of your Mac. But, that is a minor issue in the big picture. More impressive than the exterior changes is the dramatic difference on the inside of the case. Not only are the new Mac Pro’s powered by quad Xeon processors, but they also have room for 4 hard drives (in a trés cool configuration no less), they left enough room for a double height videocard, 16 gigs of memory, and if you give him enough time, Jonathan Ive will probably find a way to keep your pet hamster in there. Although, you could probably do that now, but with possible undesirable results.

Well, I want one. Wait, let me clarify! I want one when Adobe finally decides that they will actually port their applications to the Intel Mac platform. Yes, I know CS3 is the scheduled release for their big universal launch. But for goodness sakes! You can no longer buy a PowerPC based Macintosh! What the hell Adobe? Fine fine, take your time… it’s not like I’m giving up my dual G5 anytime soon. But still, I wish I had a reason to.