Yeah, this shit’s old.  We recorded this show on November 2nd at around 9:00 PM CST.  Edgey and I were tired and sick of talking.  The political junkie in me got pissed at our listener Muir for a random comment in an email, and I was tired of having people demand I talk about fucking video games.  I just can’t care that much anymore.  Don’t get me wrong though, I still love video games and play them whenever I can.  But that’s just it; I don’t get much of a chance anymore.  I don’t religiously salivate over every little thing, and then feel some need to rant about what I’ve read on Kotaku for an hour.  There’s plenty of other shows that do that.  That shit’s old to me.  I’ve been speaking into a microphone about games for just over 3 and a half years… I’m kind of tired of it.

However, that doesn’t explain why the show is late… but this does… sort of.

My weeks are fucking crazy right now.  School and work rule my schedule, and believe it or not, podcasting is at the absolute bottom of my ‘give-a-fuck’ list.  When I get a free moment, I usually try to spend it hanging with Carolyn, or my friends, or both.  Games?  Sure, when I can.  But as it is, I’m playing shit you’ve all gotten sick of months ago.  Dead Rising?  I JUST got it.  Matter of fact, Soul Calibur 4 is literally the newest thing I own in disc form.  Anybody want to hear about that?  How about my 15 minute sessions of Peggle?  Anybody interested in that?

Alright, I’m digressing again.

Back to the subject at hand… I’m busy.  Really busy.  Editing the latest show was the last thing I wanted to do, and I put it off.  Getting home from work at 6:00, I detest the thought of editing a podcast and writing a show post.  And on a school day?  Well, on Wednesdays I go to class from 9 A.M. to 10 P.M., so again, when I hit the door, I’m done.  Thursdays are spent doing nothing but homework, housework, and taking time for me.  Friday and Saturday it’s back to work again, with an ever increasing amount of frustration and responsibility I seem to be burdening myself with there.  It all adds up to really feeling the crush of my time being more precious than I used to treat it.  So yeah, I said ‘fuck the show’ for the week.  I had more important things I wanted to do.  Hell, Producer Mike (anybody remember him?) is in the process of getting a divorce and has moved to Missouri of all places.  I haven’t even taken the time to call him and see how things are going… some friend I am.  Seems we’re all (and I include Jason in this statement too) doing a lot of growing up lately.  Mike and I both kind of said ‘fuck it’ to the movie goals.  I decided to head back to school, and Mike decided to take the chance to get himself to a healthy emotional state (no pun intended).  All this right when Slashdance finally hits 1 million views on YouTube.  Great, now the people that call me ‘teh ghey’ in the comments is in the seven figures.  Ah, Internet stardom…

Where was I going with this…

So fast-forward to this last Sunday.  It’s around 5pm, things are quiet, nothing pressing happening.  So I sit down to FINALLY edit the podcast.  I debated even releasing it.  With all the political talk, it was so useless and out of date, it was a pointless mess.  Couple that with what a miserable prick I was because of how tired and fed up I was feeling, and it was just garbage podcasting.  Like Gamer Andy levels of crap.  But I said fuck it, I’ll put it out with a note about how it’s old crap and you can listen if you want.  But wouldn’t you know it; the fucking power supply in the podcast recording machine was dead.  Fuck me.  This is obviously a sign, and I went about my evening watching the new episode of Top Gear and some Gordon Ramsey reruns with Carolyn.  One more day isn’t going to hurt anything.  I’m probably right… no, scratch that, I KNOW I’m right.  I mean, c’mon.  This is just nonsense.  It’s a podcast about random shit.  It’s not a matter of life and death that this makes it out in a super-timely manner.

Let’s bring this home now…

There, that’s the end of my rant.  And just in case you were wondering; no, I’m not throwing in the towel.  Just rethinking some stuff out loud, and I figured I owe it to the fans of the show.  Sometimes it just helps to reiterate to myself why I do things.  Because it’s fun, right?  Well, fun seems to be a sliding scale with things sometimes.  I find that Commander Tim Cast worked best when I talked about whatever I was most passionate about at a given moment.  Remember when I was just all about comic books for a few weeks?  What about when I went from “PC gaming is dead to me”, to “OMG! I LOVE PC GAMING!”.  That’s the kind of randomness I operate on.  Pure passion for whatever tickles my fancy at the moment.  Case in point; it’s been YEARS since I’ve indulged my movie nerd side.  I mean really indulged.  Garrett and Mike know what I’m talking about.  How long has it been since you’ve heard me go on about the genius of Tsui Hark?  I haven’t ranted on about the cinematography and narrative progression in Citizen Kane in forever.  Just the other night, I was giving a line by line breakdown to Carolyn over dinner about why Finding Nemo is, from a technical standpoint, the PERFECT movie, and should be taught in film school as an example of how to properly progress emotional attachment.  Maybe that will be the next arc of the CTC.  Movie crap.  Why not?  After all, this show is about whatever the hell I feel like talking about.  Maybe it’s time to shake it back up.  After all, the Commander Tim Cast was born out of boredom.  Maybe that’s why it has suffered so… I’m anything but bored these days.

No worries gang.  The show must go on.  I’m not done with my ride yet.

Talk to you soon.

[EDIT]

I pulled this episode.  It’s not worth the trouble and anger.  I get it, nobody likes Big V.  I’m hitting the pause button.